Ron Jeremy Interview in Full

J: You're getting around a lot huh,?
R: Trying
R: If you like what's in my pants, it's foul.
J: Do you consider yourself a joystick expert since you've been in the porn industry so long?
R: No. However I can play certain games with joysticks. Like that old ping pong game, knocking out the bricks.
J: Yeah, Breakout.
R: I was good at that. Frogger, Pac-Man, the old ones. These new games, I'm not even paying attention to.
J: Do you feel you masturbate a lot or do you prefer to make a booty call?
R: I prefer a booty call.
J: Yeah? Even if it's like 4 o'clock in the morning?
R: Booty call. I love late night calls, because there's no traffic.
J: That's even better!
J: What's your average return time for a booty call? Twenty minutes, half hour?
R: Twenty minutes. What's real neat, though, is to must up the strength for your main squeeze who's waiting for you at home. 'Cause if they want to grab you right in the ball sack you better have something else you can produce. 'Cause if you don't, you're dead meat.
R: I have an open relationship with girls I've been with. I've had 4 serious relationships in my entire life. Margie Alive, Tanya, actually five, one name I can't mention and Natalie. These, 5 again, is always non-monogamous. It can be emotionally monogamous, but sexually non-monogamous. The mind and heart can be with one, but genitalia like to travel. But look, God forbid if I can't get a boner for them I'm hysterectomy, which is 10 points worse than history. <'Cause they're there for me too.>
J: Do you think girls are trying to hook up with you all the time to kinda break into the porn industry?
R: It happens once in a rare while. Not too often. They're too smart for that. They know you don't have to have sex with a person to get into porn, you have sex when you're on the camera. You don't have to go, "I'll do this if you let me in your movie…" No, that's not necessary.
J: So do you actively search out for new talent?
R: No. I actively search out not to find new talent. I feel the same way the agent does at World Modeling, who's the best one. He advertises, people come to him that's one thing. I've gotten girls into the business, including some name girls, such as Samantha Strong, but the thing is, they came to me. They seek me out, they look for me, they question me, they bug me about getting into the business. And often I told them not too, I said "you're doing certain things in your life right now, you're better off going in this direction.." But I never ever ever approached any girl to be in porn. I have approached some to be in magazines, stills, all those kinda of pictures, yes, but to be in actual hardcore video where they're going to show their face and be seen I've never approached a girl to do that in my entire life. Because you might get some pissed off brother, cousin, uncle, next door neighbor, piano teacher, gardner, to say "what scumbug put this girl into the business…" and my defense if, "hey scumbag, they came to me, I didn't go to them. You got a problem? Take it up with them. And they're working on Sunset Boulevard first."
J: I wanted to ask, do you consider yourself a geek?
R: Sometimes. Not with computers, I'm computer illiterate. But a geek as you mean a dweeb a geek a putz a nerd once in awhile. Other things some people consider real cool, other things some people consider real nerdy.
J: what is the geekiest thing you've ever done?
R: I guess, cornball lines, once in awhile. Some of the pickup lines I've used in the past are kindof nerdy.
J: What's the worst pickup line you've used?
R: I was dating a girl, and I brought her flowers and that's kind of geeky.
J: Are you into games at all? Any of the modern systems?
R: Nope. Am I bad interviewee? I could lie and say "yeah." I think I did an interview with an online magazine and said, "I think computers are often boring and a huge waste of time, I'd rather hear a person's voice over the damn phone. Not read and type to them, I want to hear them call me! The invention of the computer, you can write to a 1000 people in one shot and press one button and it goes out, and that's an advantage and I can understand that. And mapquest and ebay and amazon.com, and all of that stuff.
I can understand the value of it. People have just way too much time on their hands, like some guy is watching the web, I can understand these webcams to look at a girl having sex, in the bathroom, but to watch her prepare an omellette, watch her sleep! People have too much time on their hands! Watch her reading a book? And video games, when I see these kids spending their lives playing videogames, I wanna cry! Why read anymore? You know? What happened to people picking up a book? These kids can tell you everything about Donkey Kong, or these latest things on computers, but you ask them about Shakespeare they don't know what the fuck you're talking about. We're going to be raising a bunch of illiterates, I'm telling you right now. I've got a Masters Degree, and so I understand, having been a teacher myself, I think we are really really raising some illiterates. Why know anything? We had to memorize the times table. Why do that now? You have a pocket, whatever those things are called, anything you need to know you can carry and learn. The only thing the brain has to do at this point is simply to know how to punch and dial then pickup information, and type. When I was a kid in school it was dweeby if you knew how to type! That was nerdy! I was a typist. I used to write scripts. And I was a dweeb for being a typist! Now everyone I know is a typist because they've got to type on a computer.
J: Geez. So, what do you think about all this internet porn?
R: Well, I'm benefiting from it so I don't want to knock it too much, but I find it boring as shit. And my only add up to those was this, well, it's very funny if you really think about it, I don't like going to topless clubs and nude clubs either, I work at them, but the same thing goes for porn as it goes for clubs. Why look at a menu of a restaurant you're not going to have dinner at? Why look at Spago's menu if you have to go to Denny's for your meal? That doesn't make any sense. You follow the logic there?
J: Oh, I totally follow the logic.
R: Now I understand the future of the internet where you can actually feel, where you strap something to your penis, or virtual reality machines where you actually feel things, or they put holograms over those Live Dolls, which feel lifelike. They stick your schlonog in somebody's face and hear them say "oh baby, yeah you're mine." So you're actually screwing the pron star or the robotics, that makes some sense, I guess. But to just look at things and jerk, I don't get it. I hate to knock it because its my audience, but I just don't get it. I'd rather watch HBO.
J: I actually like you're point of view. Oh yeah? What's your favorite show on HBO?
R: Movies.
J: Just regular movies? Do you have a favorite movie?
R: Tons of regular movies, too many to mention.
J: You're doing pretty good in your career, I think, in real movies.
R: Thanks.
J: I saw you in Orgazmo, I thought that was great. Killing Zoe. Boondock Saints.
R: Yeah, people love that film. Check out this one, American Virgin. With Mina Sarvario and Bob Hoskins.
J: Oh yeah, I've seen American Virgin.
R: I play the cop. It was a fun film.
J: Do you ever hope to one day win an oscar?
R: Yeah, when hell decides to freeze. Well, that's a dirty comment! Well, no, I hope. I'd love to, it's every actor's dream. If someone would take a chance and give me a role that's that solid. A dramatic role.
J: Are you pursuing real movie roles?
R: All the time.
J: So do you one day hope to stop doing adult films?
R: Yes, of course. Well, no, I don't really hope to stop, because I really do enjoy it, and the schlong still works without the help of Viagra. However, there will come a time when they're not going to want me.
J: That opened up a question I was planning to ask. Do you think Viagra is a cheat in the porn industry?
R: No, no, not really, I think it's fair. I think it's going to ruin a lot of guys. You hear stories that if you take Viagra now, you take like a quarter of a pill. Some of these guys are in their 20's that are taking it, and when they get into their 30's and 40's they're going to have to take like 5 pills, because the body's going to have a certain buildup to it. I mean, I heard it can get worse, if guys start taking Viagra when they're really young they're not going to be able to have a boner without it after awhile. They'll have to have Viagra to get hard! It's going to ruin their lives, I've heard stories where that could be true. It was meant for those who have problems getting an erection, but now all these guys I know in porn and out of porn who want to put a good impression on, will take it, I think that's so heinous, cause you can get a good boner on your own! You wait a few extra minutes, you jerk the damn thing, who cares! On porn sets, I understand it's value, you can do more scenes, directors often give it to the actors they want them to do a quick scene, especially where they have to wear rubbers, in the cold, and bad situations in uncomfortable scenarios, on slabs and caves, castle scenes, when it's uncomfortable to have sex, Viagra helps. But I still will do it acapella, I still jerk it. Yeah, I appear slow now, by comparison, but year's ago I was considered to be fast, by todays standards I'm slow, cause these guys come out of the bathroom and they've got a boner before they're pants come down! I cant compete with that. Thank god I'm ron Jeremy.
J: Do you think the porn movie industry is kind of stale right now? Since there hasn't been anything new in fucking in like the last 10 years?
R: The only thing that can be new is modern technology. That'll change the look of porn all the time. What are you going to do, make a new plot, a new storyline, a new position? They've had gang bang, threesomes foursomes, black on white black on black, old men young girls, old girls young men, every position known to mankind, back door, front door, 2 in a hole, 3 in a hole, what are they going to do? What can possible be done that hasn't been done already? If we haven't' don't it, Europe has. What are we going to do that hasn't been done? The only thing we could change, is what, we could get cuter girls? No, the girls now are breathtaking. The only thing we can do, is when technology increases and it gets different and more into 3d and holograms, people lifelike in your living room, being a participant where you stick your schlong into something, that could be different.
J: So that's what you see happening in the porn sector in the next 20 years?
R: Yes. Next 5-10 years, yes. New technology is going to change the look of porn. I mean, people probably don't know this, but you probably do cause you're more into the video business. The first prerecorded cassettes were what?
J: Beta
R: Porn. They were beta and vhs and they were porn. Then the major studios followed with prerecorded movies. First CDROMS, first DVDS, the first holograms will be porn. That's just how it is. It's experimental medium, it's cheaper to create, you can use actors for cheaper money. That's just how it works. That's how it is in lots of technology.
J: Do you think Intel owes a lot of its profits to the porn industry?
R: Intel meaning?
J: You know, Intel, the company that makes chip processors for computer technology?
R: Yes. They'll be the first ones to admit that.
R: Blockbuster admits that it took a big beating when they took porn off the shelves. They admit it they took a huge hit. You have major corporations, AT&T, Time Warner, Marriot, they've all been involved with porn in one way or another, and they're stock holders were upset. Then they saw the money coming in and then they weren't upset anymore. They had a moral attitude, "oh how much is that? What's that check? Oh, we're okay…" These major corporations were totally dead set against getting involved with porn until the paychecks came in and now the stock holders are happy. Blockbuster does not want to relinquish they're attitude it seems, so that's fine with them. They didn't want to handle porn, they have a moral problem with it. But they are acknowledging it, they are losing business.
J: What about the video game industry? Do you think they'd make a lot more money if they embraced porn?
R: They have in small scale. There are a lot of small scale video games on the internet, you know, they don't have anything to do with me, but years ago there was a take off on the Mario brothers, because they say I look like one. It was a cute idea, to take a game they already have and add penis's and vaginas in them and you have an X-rated video game. Do they do that now? Major companies won't get involved in that. They can't. They're major audiences are kids! They can't.
J: Considering the average age of the video game market is 25 years old of the average gamer.
R: Are you sure?
J: Yeah, yeah, sure.
R: The average age of the video game market is 25?
J: Yup.
R: Does that include gambling too?
J: No, not gaming, it includes consoles like playstation, Nintendo, sega.
R: Come on. I don't buy it. Somebody's fucked this. I don't buy it.
J: This year's statistics.
R: That means for every 20 year old, there's a 30 year old. You're average is 25. For every 18 yr old, there's a 32 yr old. For every 10 year old, there's a 40 or 50 year old. That's horseshit I don't buy that. Ever kid I know plays those things night and day, but I see very very few adults. Those statistics are horseshit, how do they know who's playing what in the household?
J: I don't know where they get these statistics. I didn't make these numbers up.
R: Don't buy it. No more than I bought the AIDS statistics. Saying who gives it to whom and how it works, etc. Statistically the guy wasn't gay who gave it. Turns out I was right it was way more of a gay disease, way more than it was heterosexual. The men weren't admitting it. So statistics can kiss my ass, it's what the guy say's 'how does statistics prove a man's sex life'? He said he's not gay, all right he's not. He told his wife, he got it from a hooker, fine, it was bullshit. He's fucking back doored by the neighbor, but they find that out years later, when a lot of them are re-interview confidentially. Playboy ran a survey and they found out the truth. So I don't buy the statistic, you don't know what goes on in somebody's home.
J: Interesting.
R: What?
J: Interesting.
R: No way. I've been all over the country and Canada, I travel a hell of a lot. I see what people are doing and how they sell, and I know this girl who's involved in the gaming industry. She works for Nintendo, my friend Iris who lives in New York. They tell you who buys they're stuff. When the parents buy it, they buy it for kids. I wouldn't buy it for a million years. They're dads are watching sports and things like that. I don't buy it. I think the average would be more like 15. I mean, look at the record industry. They admit it, the majority of who was buying records, CD's, was all kids. That's why major rockstars can't get too close to porn. They wouldn't let Kidd Rock have Jenna Jameson open up the Grammy's, it was too much, but they did let me be in two of his videos. But the Grammy's? They wouldn't allow it. The majority of his audience are kids. That's what records are realizing, it's kids. They also see even the movie public is dropping in age as well. But that still has a lot of adults. But you're saying video games? There's no way I'm going to believe that story in a million years.
J: I'm not going to say otherwise.
R: I'm just going on my experience. My experience involves a lot of travel. Maybe on a world-wide level - but I know in Canda and America I'll never buy that statistic.
J: You are an American icon to the geeks. And as American as Apple Pie, have you ever thought running for office?
R: No. But I would like to run for an orifice.
J: Do you have any political thoughts?
R: No. Why waste my time? I like to be taken unseriously and seriously. I do porno always smiling, I don't generally take it totally seriously. I don't take entertainment all that seriously but I have a great time. I take myself seriously enough that I don't make a mockery of myself running for an office I can't achieve. People have talked about it, I have a major company, I work with Metro, I'm under contract with metro studios,one of the major companies, along with Vivid and VCA. They mentioned an idea , something about that once, and I said, "I don't want to do that, please, I don't want to make a mockery of myself." I'm not going to win, why waste time and energy on something that's not going to happen just to get more publicity? I'm happy with my publicity right now, I want to get publicity now in more mainstream movies.
J: That's great. Do you believe in anything?
R: Yes. I'm jewish.
J: You're jewish. Are you practicing?
R: Yeah,I go to the services for the coffee and the Danish.
J: Great answer.
R: I don't pay all that much attention to the… I do appreciate that I was a reform jew. We didn't wear a lot of yamakahs, and tallisses except for the barmitzvahs, and the services are mostly in English. So, we could understand what they were saying. I think that's kind of nice! And also, what I really liked about my synagogues I was part of or goone to, even my nephew who just got barmitvah'd a few months ago, they've always stressed that kids do something for the entire community not just the jewish people. Every boy at the barmizvah, at the places I was at, everyone my sister sent her kids too recently, they were synagogues they'd say do thing for the community not just for other jews, do things that are anaganomous, that's part your assignment. And I always liked that.
J: the documentary that was released, has gain some notoriety. What sets your life apart from other male porn stars?
R: one, I'm more famous. B, I have a whole line of t-shirts and rolling papers that use my name and pay me royalty. C, cause I was the average looking guy. There are a lot of better looking guys than me in porn, of course, there are guys that are better in bed abilities than me, but I just got more famous, because I'm the average guy and people related. I also took my character right to he sex scenes, I play a nerd I have sex like a enrd, I play a nasty man, I have sex like a nasty man. I really took my character all the way. And I think people noticed the crazy lines that came out of my mouth, some of the outrageous things I'd do in the movies. And being an average looking guy they often could relate and a lot of people say that. When I was younger and better looking, like when I was in Playgirl magazine, 4 times I was in playgirl magazine. When I was svelt I think I got less work. Like the average guy, like the john ballushi getting lucky.
J: Who do you think taught you to fuck so well. Or are you just a natural?
R: acting you mean?
J: No, just sex.
R: Oh, I think you just learn by the total of your experiences. You learn from every girl you've ever been with. Every person learns and gets better by your partner. Girls teach you new things. So I had a pretty good social life all through high school and college. And I think it makes you better and better the more you learn. Watching women on women is a good teacher, ya know. I was never really a big fan of porn, so I don't watch much porn. So I don't think you get a very good lesson from porn. Because the positions we do let the lights in. Really good head, for example, oral, my girl uses her tongue in all the right ways. We can't see that. Unless you use a ---scope. We do things which are very noticeable on camera. Like we see it bulging out of her cheek. Well, you know, it's going through two sets of teeth when it does that. So although it looks good, it doesn't necessarily feel good. So I don't think porn was a really good lesson for me. You know, I only watched a few films when I was kid. Deep Throat and the Devil In Miss Jones. But basically, I think by being with people, by being with women, who show you things, reading once in awhile on the subject, you know.
J: You know, you taught me how to lick nipples. If it wasn't for your nipple licking ability, I don't think I'd be happily married today. My wife loves it, she goes crazy.
R: Does she have big nipples? Big areolas, too?
J: Yes. Yes.
R: Do you have her number?
J: My favorite thing.
R: My documentary went into that a bit, you know, licking, giving head.
R: I had a very good friend, who passed away, Sam Kennison, and we'd make jokes about it all the time. He'd say 'lick the alphabet.' Or, he would say too many guys have that same stroke, up and down up and down, like painting the fence, and the girl lies there and says I don't know if I'm getting licked or weather proofed. You know? I used to do this thing where I'd do different things, I did it on Midnight blue on Al Goldstein's show in New York, how it was so different from anything else because you have so many different things and techniques you have to do…some girls like things so specific to get her over the finish line. It might be up and down or side to side or clockwise or counterclockwise, one lip in one lip out, one finger in, nope two fingers in, no fingers in! Top of the tongue, bottom of the tongue, tip of the tongue, fast, slow. When there are so many combinations to the power of this to the power of that, that there are thousands of choices that you have when you're there, whereas for girls doing things to guy, to a man, whatever she does it's the friction on the jacket and its bingo! Any orifice she wants to use including an eye socket or her underarm. Whereas with a girl it can be very very specific. You know, in a way it's a comedy skit if you think about it.
J: It's hilarious, you're cracking me up. I have to hold back the laughter to make sure you get recorded.
R: You can record the HA HA HA.
J: I just want to make sure everything gets recorded, I don't want to llaugh over you. My stomach is sweating from holding back the laughter.
R: I'm sweating from the buffet I had last night.
J: Do you feel like you're gaining lots of weight?
R: It's careless, to extend the joke they say I used to work out at the gym, now I work out at the buffet. I went from Playgirl Magazine to Field n Stream.
J: How do you feel about your hairiness, cause everyone knows you're a really hairy guy?
R: I do shave before a movie.
J: You do shave?
R: All the time. I shave my back hair, my shoulder hair. Most of the films I do. They don't see a lot of hair in the movies, but they do know I have it when I'm directing or being caught off guard or something. The dialogue change, I'm in a bathing suit or whatever. But the thing is, most sex scenes, I'm usually fairly clean shaven. The thing is, the Lord, or mother nature, have a very mean sense of humor. There are men, most men, they lose it on their head where they want it, and they get it on their back, ears, nose. When I was in most of my earlier career, up to like age 30, from 1978 to the middle 80's. I didn't have hair on my back or shoulders, it was on my chest where you want it. All of a sudden I start becoming this hairy thing. What the heck kind of sense of humor is this?It's thinning on top of my head, while it's gaining it back there. I consider that fucking low. I think there's someone up therein heaven, laughing.
J: Well, you know, what can you do?
R: You know what can I do? I just shave that's all. I don't wax it.
J: Hopefully, you're with a good woman who doesn't mind and accepts you for who you are.
R: And my good woman shaves too. She helps me shave it.
J: Yeah, a real good woman shaves your back for you.
R: She does. It gets kinda fun. She get's a kick out of it. She'll write her initials first, then I go "come on cut it out.." then she'll shave it all off.
J: Is there anything you want to tell me, that maybe I haven't asked, or um, something relating to video games, or something you want FOUL readers to know?
R: You do real advanced video games, huh?
J: Yeah, yeah.
R: It's amazing how they are becoming so, video games some of them look so realistic with these people and all. These simulated humans, they look so real.
J: What do you think of all these really sexy looking video game characters?
R: It's fascinating. I tell ya, eventually they aren't going to need any actors. The real future of acting, video games are helping sell this point, you know that movie Animatron, the real future of acting could be just that. The Supreme Court already voted you can show minors, or people looking like minors, engaging in sexual situation, as long as it is simply computer imagery and not an actual person.
J: Yeah, that's a recent vote.
R: A very recent vote.
J: Do you think that's going to stand?
R: I don't know, it surprised everybody I think. But it is reasonable, because, who's being hurt? If it's a make believe, computerized, ya know… They made a really mean law in porn, where you couldn't even depict a person as a minor even if they were a grandmother, they couldn't even depict them as a minor. Since when does the plot of a porn film matter that much,
J: So do you agree with most of the laws that surround porn?
R: A lot of them.
J: But that's one you disagree with, are there any others?
R: The one where you couldn't portray a minor, this seemed weird, even if it's not a sexual situation, just to be topless. I thought it was bias, because major holywood is producing plenty of films where a girl could look like a minor and you could see her little nipples bouncing under her t-shirt. Like the movie little darling, the whole plot of that film, starring Christie mcknickles and armanad arssante, was who gets de-virginiated first. That was a nasty film that was rated PG or G. How did they get away with it? Because we're the X-rated business, oh, they come after us.
J: Have you ever been arrested?
R: Directing movies, twice. We won, we beat them.
J: What state's were they in?
R: California.
J: Really.
R: New York never had a problem with it. New York, I was doing the same thing here as I was doing there, directing a movie. And here it is America, and yet it was so different, in New York, a cop would drive by and be in the movie and here in LA they drive by and arrest you.
J: Geez.
R: There was a pandering law on both coasts. The NY Police told me, they didn't think they should use it against adult filmmakers, but on the west coast they were trying to use it. It's called creative expansion of a law, it was used against pimps who pander and prostitutes. To try and say that porn is the same thing. Well, we won. All 7 of the supreme court justices agreed, that the police were wrong and we won. Now it's totally legal to shoot porn in California, we even have to have fire marshall's and police if we shoot exteriors. I was one of the pioneers, but I had to go to jail twice.
J: That's great. What year's were those?
R: Back in the early early 80's. What were we talking about a minute ago?
J: We were just talking about things.
R: Oh, thanks for your help.
J: I'm recording it all.
R: Video games.
J: Oh, yeah, video games.
R: The future of acting, I think it's going to be almost scary. It doesn't matter who you are, Tom Cruise, Marland Brando, whatever. They're going to walk into a room, they're going to be sitting face forward and punching into computers. Face forward, face back, turn around, right, left, turn, good, thank you, smile, look sad, look scared look frightened, look confidant, look secure, look insecure, good give us all the consonants, good, give us all the vowels. AEIOU, say it again, AEIOU, now give us all the consonants, "cuh-duh-fuh" thank you, you're dismissed, for life. Then, all the actors have to do after that is just simply do live theatre. The big thing will be the stage, if you want to see actors, you go to the theatre and see actors, because everything you see on tv or film will be their computer images. And they'll look even more lifelike than they do today. I don't think it will ever really get this bad, but just think about it. As it is now, look at the movie The Crow, remember that? When Brandon died, they kept shooting his head on somebody's elses's body. It's just amazing what they did with computers. They can make a night scene a day scene, a day scene a night scene. I've seen the most amazing thing on computers. The whole thing on Osama Bin Laden, talking to the camera about the things he committed on 9/11 and all, I didn't buy it really.
J: Actually that opens up some questions, how do you feel about all that?
R: They could simulate a person doing that saying all those things he was saying. They can make it look that good. I didn't really buy it. I mean, I believe the monster. But I believe computer imagery can make you or I reciting Shakespeare and screwing a donkey at the same time, make us look like we're actually there on the farm, and we could sue for that, but I'm saying with modern computers and technology it's amazing.
J: So, how do you feel about 9/11?
R: Well, I think it's heinous. I have a lot of family in government. I have some who work for… well, I have a very impressive family, let's put it that way. A lot of them are out there fighting. My whole family are veterans. My dad was in WWII, my mom was a Lieutenant during WWII, then became a member of the OSS, she was a decoder and cryptographer, she was basically a spy, and then OSS became the CIA in the late 40's. My mother was in the forerunner to that. She spoke fluent German and fluent French. My whole family is all veterans, everybody. My uncles fought in the wars, my grandparents fought in all the wars, me and my brother larry got out of Vietnam. But we've been a very loyal American family. A few generations American and I am very very American. I'm more chauvinistic than most, believe it or not.
J: How do you feel the spetember 11th attack has affected the Porn industry?
R: As bizarre as this is, by all means we're against all that took place, and people have donated money to the 9/11 victims, it took the attention away from us. The Replublicans prosecute porn, then with 9/11 they were so busy with that they turned their backs on us a little bit. And we were not getting prosecuted. Because when Bush took office, two film makers got busted, See More butts and Max Hardcore, and then we figured there were more to follow. Under the Republicans we always get prosecuted, under Democrats we do not. That's a fact.
J: I can definitely see Bill Clinton backing off.
R: Absolute fact. Actually about 12 filmakers indicted under Bush and Reagen, but under Clinton and Janet Reno took over, they stopped dead in their tracks. They made it very clear that they didn't feel like prosecuting adult filmmakers, because the prisons were too full of real criminals. The minute Bush Jr. took over, bingo, two more busts. The reason being, it's very obvious, the republicans have to throw a bone to the religious folks who put them in power. All religious companies, all religious folks, all religious cable shows, endorse Republicans, it has not changed. Am I correct?
J: Correct.
R: The 700 Club? Every single religious group supports Repbulicans. So when the republicans are in office they have to do something back as a way of saying thank you. And one of the first things they do is prosecute porn. You see? Democracts don't rely on the religious ticket, they don't have to do that. They stay constitutional. Know what I mean?
J: Yeah.
R: When I debate anybody who hates what I do for a living, by the time it gets near the end of the debate, 99% of the time, including when I'm on tv, debating someone on Heraldo, or Sally Jesse Raphael, or Tom Snyder, or Jerry springer, 99% of the time, on tv or in real life, person that hates what I do for a living is very very religious. They're not arguing on a constitutional point of view, they're not arguing on a logical point of view, they're arguing on a religious point of view. It's just bad and evil. How do you debate that?
J: Taking the moral high ground.
R: Right. But I usually win the argument. Cause I point out to these idiots, that you're problem is not with me. Are you against premarital sex? Yes. Well, there's your enemies right out there. Right out there with the entire world. Cause I don't think anybody at this point can say they got married as a virgin. I proved that on heraldo when I had the entire audience raise their hand. Who here has never had a sexual relationship outside marriage? Maybe 2 or 3 hands went up. So there's your enemy not me. Leave us alone. And I won the argument.
J: Well, ya know, you're just the guy with the most…
R: What the church is going through now, you know, obviously, they have some severe problems. They'll criticize what I do for a living, you know, consenting adults having consenting sex for a consenting audience to watch, but yet it's okay to molest young boys who are not consenting.
J: Right.
R: Pretty funny, huh? All these guys who have been bugging me for so many years are really taking a good hit right now, and it doesn't surprise me because they're twisted. You don't see too many Rabbi's having a problem with this, do you?
J: No.
R: Don't see too many Muslim leaders having a problem with this? No. They don't take those laws of celibacy when they become leaders, ya know? But these idiots having problems is interesting, no?
J: It is interesting, very interesting.
R: A little chauvinistic. They had this great thing on Bill Maher…
J: Your point of view is very interesting.
R: Am I wrong?
J: No, I'm not saying you're wrong.
R: Bill Maher made a really good point when he had a Muslim, a rabbi, and a Christian on his show. Both the muslim and the jew agreed that if you do good work on this planet you should go to heaven, the Christian did not. He said you must accept Jesus Christ into your life. And the Rabbi, direct, out of the show, I'm not making this up, the rabbi says to the Christian minister, whatever he was, priest, that means Albert Schrietzer, or some doctor who takes care of indigent kids in Africa, or doctors who spend their lives curing mankind of its problems, they don't go to heaven? And the Christian goes, "no. they don't. they have to believe in jesus Christ." There ya go. And both the Muslim and jew both agreed, we don't care who you are, you do good work, you should go to heaven. Christian said, no, it's not enough; you have to believe in Christ. So, it's a very very very chauvinistic attitude they have. Right?
J: It's true. It's absolutely true.
R: And Bill Maher, that show, totally pointed it out. And I thought it was very very interesting. I have a lot of Christian friends. And I have nothing against any religion. But I just found it very interesting.
J: Yes, the icon of the religion and the things going on in the back end of it, or I should say, the front end of it, the way its presented and the way it's being sold to the Christian public is not as open.
R: It's spooky.
J: Mhm.
R: It's just really really screwy. And I have a lot in common with these folks, because when I have sex, I do it religiously. And we get along. I have nothing against Christians, religious Christians, I have a lot of religious Christians who are very good friends of mine. And they're very open to me and what I do and my lifestyle. Because they believe in live and let live. But the problem is there are others out there who have a problem, and it's so silly, because as Dennis Miller pointed out, that they were upset that there was a Hustler or Penthouse or Playboy in 7/11 but they don't mind their being a Bible in every hotel room. Right?
J: Right.
R: They get upset about us having spies in Playboy and having certain cable stations, but then they can have how many networks they have which are 10 times more.
J: Absolutely.
R: Someone has to tell, some of these radical Christians that freedom of speech works for both of us. You know, that's all.
J: Yeah, that's true. Freedom of Speech is very important.
R: It's how it works for everybody. Yeah, and they keep getting mad and we keep quoting the constitution. Well, ya know what choice do you have? They wipe their ass with it.
J: Yeah, that's the reason it was made.
R: Right! They have a right to read the Bible. I have nothing against that. More the merrier. I even like religious people. B4ecause they have a conscious. And I like that. Sometimes believing in god or whatever gives you a conscious. You don't do bad things, because you'll pay for it later. I don't know if I believe in that, but I like the fact that some people are doing it. They lead decent lives because they're doing that. There's nothing wrong with that.
J: Sure, if that's what it takes for you to live your life as a decent human,
R: Sure, I have the utmost respect…
J: But you don't have to be religious to live your life as a decent human?
R: Two guys hate my guts and I have the most respect for them, Jesse Helms and Fallwell.
J: Uh huh.
R: They've never been caught in scandals, they totally live by what they preach, totally not hypocritical. They weren't like Swaggart who got caught with his pants down, or Jimmy Baker with his pants down, even Pat Robertson who is against premarital sex had a baby 7 months after getting married. So look at this, there are all these guys who preach and are so full of shit and get caught with their pants down. You've got to give credit to Fallwell and Jesse Helms. Jesse Helms is totally loved by his people in North Carolina, he's a very loved senator, he's never been caught in a scandal, he hates what I do, and would probably like to see all pornographers dead. However, he never got caught with Playboys and Penthouses, he didn't caught in scandals, he didn't pick up hookers. Same thing with Jerry Fallwell. He debated Larry Flynt many times and they're actually friends now, Larry Flynt and Fallwell, because he was made to look very very good in the movie. You know, and Larry won a landmark case against him, that it's okay to insult and make jokes about religious leaders or anyone for that matter it's American life, ya know. And they proved in the movie, the greatest thing in the entire film, and my point, was the last part of the credits, where they said Jerry Fallwell was still a very respected leader with a humongous congregation worldwide. That was so important to show that, none of the insults about his mother having sex in an outhouse, was ever taken as other than a joke which is how it was intended to be, it didn't effect his congregation by one ioto.
J: Nope, it didn't.
R: That was the whole point of American satire. That's how we live of our lives. When tragedy happens the jokes come out a week later.
J: That's a lot of FOUL magazine.
R: Right. You guys are a living example of that as well. The thing about American humor that's so bizarre, is that when tragedy happens, the jokes come out. Like when that space shuttle blew up in space, they had a hundred jokes come out before they even hit the bottom. Or John John Kennedy in the airplane, I read some hysterically funny jokes. They're cruel and mean but that's the American way of life. You can't take that away.
J: You're a very interesting person to talk to.
R: Well thank you, you got me started. I wasn't thinking this thing before today, when I first woke up. But I'm getting my attitudes back.
J: So, are you an evening person, you wake up late in the day?
R: Kinda. It's like a rock n roll lifestyle, I guess, here.
J: Yeah, me too.
R: I'm doing a photoshoot for you guys also in a little while.
J: Yeah, they should probably be there pretty soon.
R: Yeah, 4 o'clock.
J: Yeah, I should probably give you some time to get yourself together, relax a little bit.
R: Yeah. I have this thing I do, if you want me to do it. I have this rooster. It looks like a real one. You think I should bring it too into the photo shoot? Do you like roosters? You might like what's in my pants its foul?
J: Show it to my photographer…
R: You getting some pictures from the producers of the documentary? They have some nice photos too if you want to use them.
J: I'll have them contact Tia.
J: Thank you, it's been real fun, and it's been a total honor to speak with you and get your point of view on things.
R: Oh thanks, I look forward to seeing the issue.
*****
R: Will you send a copy to?
J: Of course, of course, I'll send a stack so you can have them lying around.

Jesse Labrocca